Ceremony as Therapy

I used to work for an incredible organisation called The Nelson Trust. I worked supporting women with addictions and those involved in the criminal justice system. These were women who had, in many cases been given a bad hand in life, experiencing trauma or abuse at a young age, and for various reasons found substance or alcohol use as their primary coping strategy. Then they got lost in that life-destroying cycle. Their road to recovery was one of the most profound processes I have ever had the privilege to witness.  

One time a young woman came into our treatment centre close to the 1 year anniversary of her sister’s death. She was in extreme mental turmoil and deeply uncomfortable at facing this day sober. Being new to the group she had yet to develop the friendships and support of the women around her. On the morning of the anniversary the two of us sat in the garden of the house and lit a candle. There is a brook that runs along the edge of the garden and we could hear it babble. The birds were singing. I knew there were few words that could be said to alleviate the woman’s pain. But the act of sitting with a candle transcended words. 

There are other ceremonies and rituals that are incorporated into therapy. I helped a former sex worker say goodbye to her alias through a ceremony which involved writing a letter and burning it. ‘Cathartic’ means ‘involving the release of strong emotions through a particular activity or experience’.  Ceremony is often carthartic and healing. It is most powerful when witnessed by others. Our intentions, commitments and vows are not only heard, but they are held and anchored by those witnesses.  

Therefore, the therapeutic power of Ceremony can nurture a confidence and resilience when nervousness or doubt creeps in. Ceremony helps us to accept changes that are already happening and can prepare us for changes still to come. Ceremony is therapeutic. It is healthy, vitalising and beautiful. 

Clare is an Independent Celebrant who specialises in bespoke ceremonies, visit I Do Declare for more details