Why Cross-Cultural Relationships Really Work.

When travelling to different countries I was always gratefully surprised by how I was received as a newcomer and visitor. As a young traveller, being welcomed by so many different cultures validated my own world view, that we are all made of essentially the same stuff.

But eventually don’t we all yearn for the familiarity of our own culture, the comfort of our own environment? The novelty of difference is abandoned as we seek out the known. Therefore is it possible that a relationship -something defined by intimacy, connectedness and shared understanding- can really succeed across the chasm of cultural difference? 

When my husband and I first got together we were told directly that it was not wise to pursue a cross-cultural relationship. 'It will take you years to overcome your cultural differences alone,' they said. In addition to this issue, there is also the worry of cultural 'dilution'. What will become of tradition if it is not passed down from generation to generation? If you speak different languages or practice different religions, one may get side-lined or even lost completely.  

Having been married for 6 years and together for 8, our cross-cultural relationship has not always been easy. There are many minor misunderstandings and disputes we negotiate on a daily basis. But it has been worth it. And we are still completely and deeply in love. 

It is interesting to think about how much we have changed and adapted to make the relationship work. I often wonder how many of the challenges we face are related to culture and how much is just personality. Of course it is unquantifiable.  

Since globalisation is here to stay I feel that being in a cross-cultural relationship is like taking ownership of that overwhelming inevitability. My partner and I, and our two small daughters have created a modest and unique piece of the endlessly unfolding puzzle that makes up this crazy modern world. So follow your dreams, they know the way!

Clare is a Celebrant who specialises in bespoke wedding ceremonies, visit I Do Declare for more details