Here are some of the steps I usually take when building a Blessingway:
Consider the Vibe
Depending on the participants you can create a ceremony which is as reverent or casual as you wish. At the last Blessingway I held there were 2 small children playing in the adjoining room, so interruptions were inevitable!
The ceremony was very sweet and simple, yet the relationships between the women made the experience feel deep and expansive. Expansive enough for the mother-to-be to well up. She was happy but exhausted, finally settling into her maternity leave and the last 6 weeks before the birth of her third son.
It is common that a sense of anticipation builds beforehand and is felt as release when everyone is finally seated together. The mother-to-be experiences the love and trust in the room, and the sense of her ‘handing over’ or surrendering to the ceremony is often almost tangible.
Dedicate the Ceremony
I love to dedicate each Blessingway I hold to a spirit or entity which matches the mother-to-be. This ceremony was dedicated to Béfind, one of three Celtic fairies who are said to be present at every birth and bestow ‘gifts’ upon the child. Each Blessingway I perform is dedicated differently, depending on the heritage/character/requirements/etc of the mother-to-be.
Open the Circle
Once all participants are sitting together and are settled I usually open the circle. There are many ways to do this. I usually pay my respects to the four elements, four directions and the four correlating human capacities, (the body, mind, creative will and emotion). Remember to close the circle afterwards.
Give Blessings
It never ceases to overwhelm me seeing such an outpouring of love, blessings, positivity and inspiration as is bestowed upon the mother-to-be during a Blessingway. This is the true meaning of ‘Baby Shower.’ This most recent mother-to-be was given presents, but her friends also arranged a foot bath for her and her belly was painted. There was singing and hugs and poems. It was so nurturing.
Acknowledge the Wonder
I think what sets a Blessingway apart from a Baby Shower is that it cultivates a sense of awe around the imminent birth. Despite all our pre-birth planning and preparation, the underlying fact is that birthing a new person into the world is a staggering mystery and miracle. A Blessingway allows for this reality to be a part of the experience, not put aside or overlooked.
Acknowledging the wonder (and often the difficulty) of the birthing process gives power to the mother. It attunes her to the intensity of what is to come and gives her the confidence to be present in her body.
Allow the Silence
So give time for silence, for contemplation and for body. Although we couldn’t meditate for long I gave all participants a walnut, whole and in its shell, to hold and contemplate for a few minutes. The walnut has its own incredible symbolism and history here in the British Isles. But in the context of this Blessingway I love what it represented: The shell, round and impenetrable reminds us of the strength and protective instincts of a mother. Inside, ripening, alive with potentiality, lies the seed.
If you (or a friend) are cultivating your own divine seed in the belly(!), why not get in touch? I am an Independent Celebrant who creates and facilitates bespoke ceremonies.
Find out more here and you can find more information about why these ceremonies are so special on my Blessingways page.
